Jubilee emotions

(From my journal of Sunday 27 Feb 2005)

I felt very moved last night. I was nearly able to remember that angst-ridden life of a college student, the doubt and hope whether God really had a plan for my life, the fear that if He did, I would not like it or be up to it. I felt honored to be part of this time in these young people's lives. Everything is still ahead for them--it is all so fluid. They are so emotionally raw in so many ways. I felt towards these students as I have felt in the past when watching little children sing at the front of the church, that these are the next generation, these lives are beginning, they share the holiness of the very new and yet undetermined. Of course, the ironic thing is, these young adults are these same little children, 10-15 years later. Very soon they will pair off and have children of their own, and the cycle will begin again. I do not feel old; I feel a little surprised to be fifty. These years, for me, are gone, and have arrived now for my children who are of this generation. I felt moved to be there with them--to encourage them--to tell them, even if only by my presence, not to be afraid, but to go forth boldly and find life and live it. Life is good. Messy, but good. Mistakes and sin will come, but by God's grace--and His grace will always come also--one grows on.